Dad to Jared 200 days Blog

+10 Days – What 11/20/09 meant to me

dadtojared200days — Mon, 30 Nov 2009 23:02:01 +0000

Monday Afternoon, November 30, 2009, 5:50 PM EST, +10 Days…

Dear Jared,

Well, the big day has come and gone. The honeymoon is over and you and Natalie are back in Nashville settling into your first home and real life begins.

There are monumental things in life that happen to each of us. For me, becoming a Christian (finally) in 1983 is the #1 thing. After that, it’s marrying your mother, the births of our three children and the births of our four (so far) grandchidren. Yes, walking your sisters down the aisle was a special time – an honor for a ‘daddy’ and I it was a proud time. But, you didn’t have to ask me to me your best man. That could’ve been handled by a good friend or a fraternity brother.

I just wanted you know that being asked to do that is in the same category as the births of our children/grandchildren. It means that much to me. Why? Probably because I’ve carried that little piece of paper in my wallet that defines success as what your children say about you when they’re talking to a friend. It was an honor and very humbling and I count it a treasure that I got to do it.

While I believe I’ll live well into my 90′s (smile), I just wanted you to know that I could die tomorrow and have fulfilled the goal God set before me – to raise children that love and fear the Lord and love their mom and dad with all their heart.

Here’s to a wonderful life…may your son someday ask you to be best man!

I love you,

Dad

1 Day To Go – “Somewhere In The World”

dadtojared200days — Fri, 20 Nov 2009 04:36:02 +0000

Thursday Night, November 19, 2009 9:38 PM PST – 1 Day To Go

Dear Jared,

So, without a doubt, God answered our prayer of 20+ years and provided you with a woman after God’s heart.

Tomorrow, we wrap up our 200 Day blog…you and Natalie will be married and I guess this site will go silent. I’ll leave it up for a while – maybe you’d like to go back and re-read some of the old posts. Ha.

Here’s the video tribute to Natalie – Enjoy!

Have a wonderful honeymoon!

I love you,

Dad

2 Days – “Success”

dadtojared200days — Thu, 19 Nov 2009 13:34:25 +0000

Wednesday Evening, November 18, 2009, 12:20 AM PST, 2 Days To Go!

Dear Jared,

Sometimes simple is better. I wanted to share a poem that I carry around in my wallet – I have since you and your sisters were just little ones:

“Success” by Martin Buxhaum

You can use most any measure, When you’re speaking of success

You can measure it in fancy home, expensive car or dress

But the measure of your real success

Is one you cannot spend.

It’s the way your kids describe you

When they’re talking to a friend.

It’s been an honor to be your father and, to hopefully, help shape you into the man you are today. Keep your eyes always focused on the prize – Eternal life – and be the type of father (someday) that has your children saying, “that’s my dad!”

I love you,

Dad

3 Days “Be careful little eyes what you see”

dadtojared200days — Wed, 18 Nov 2009 04:25:06 +0000

Tuesday Evening, November 17, 2009, 11:14 EST, 3 Days To Go

Dear Jared,

Ah, Phoenix is gorgeous! Can’t wait for you to get here tomorrow! Man, o man, we are just three days from Friday.

Hey, I wanted to touch on something that can be the “white elephant in the room” or “taboo”, and that’s the temptation around pornography and other inappropriate media, like soft porn magazines or movies. All of it is unhealthy for your relationship with Natalie.

With the advent of the Internet, so much stuff is available with a click of the mouse…how are you going to keep yourself away from partaking in a ‘peek’, which can be the seeds to lead to an unhealthy addiction? Might be a good topic to discuss with other men in your church or Sunday school class. Stay in God’s word and seek His strength to overcome this powerful temptation. Believe it not….these things work! Imagine that. Ha. Seriously, though, have a plan for this because it’s not going to go away, it’s only going to get more and more mainstream.

So, be careful what you let those baby blues look at…and may it only be the beautiful gift God has given you in Natalie.

Have a safe trip tomorrow!

I love you,

Dad

4 Days ‘Treasure’

dadtojared200days — Mon, 16 Nov 2009 16:55:55 +0000

Monday morning, November 16, 2009, 11:33 AM EST, 4 Days To Go!

Dear Jared,

I really enjoyed our time together on Saturday – nothing too fancy, but I hoped you enjoyed your final weekend as a single feller. Ha. So glad the Cats pulled out the victory…that made the day.

We leave tomorrow for Phoenix…the big week is here! Seems like last week that the blog started at 200 days, but that was almost 7 months ago. Wow. It’s going to be a joyous and an emotional week for everyone. But, you must know how proud and happy we are for you and Natalie. Any tears shed will be tears of joy, tears of happiness that you have found the most valued treasure of your life, and that would be your beautiful bride.

Jared, always protect her, always stand up for her, always show her your unwavering support. She is a treasure beyond career, education and riches. Just like she must let Steve and Brenda go as the most important people in her life, so you must do the same with your mom and me. After your relationship with God, you must be #1 in her life, and she must be #1 in your life. This pecking order doesn’t change even when you have children some day – although it will same like it has changed .

I love this Scripture:

Ephesians 5:25-27 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her; 26 that He might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, 27 that He might present to Himself the church in all her glory, having no spot or wrinkle or any such thing; but that she should be holy and blameless.

Love Natalie Sacrificially So She Blooms as God Planned!!

That is a pretty BIG responsibility! Your love for Natalie will be directly related to her ‘blossoming’ in the way God has planned for her. Wow…get a hold of that and don’t let go!!

Enjoy the moment…enjoy the week!

I love you,

Dad

8 Days – Money Talks

dadtojared200days — Fri, 13 Nov 2009 03:45:06 +0000

Thursday Night, November 12, 2009 10:37 PM EST, 8 Days To Go

Dear Jared,

Perhaps the biggest reason for marriage dissolution (i.e. divorce) is finances. Yep, money. There’s a reason Jesus said the love of it is the root of all evil. Emphasis on the word, ‘love’. Jesus never said money was evil, but that the love of it was. I’m proud that you seem to be doing the things to keep this in check and under control. Just make sure you and Natalie both agree on how your money is going to be managed. Make a budget and stick to it!! Key!

I would have to say that if I had to do it all over again, I would’ve flossed my teeth more when I was younger (lol) and handled money way different. I would’ve been a better steward, a better manager and a budgeter! We’re now doing those things, but I would’ve done them sooner. You have that opportunity…you’re just starting out. NO UNNECESSARY CREDIT CARDS, okay? When you go to a retail store and they say, “if you sign up for a credit card, you’ll get 15% off today”….DON’T DO IT! A big trap and temptation that you guys just don’t need.

I won’t dwell on this one, but it’s big…really big. Don’t gloss over it…have real conversations with Natalie about it…and agree on how you’ll manage the finances. Shake on it, hug on it, kiss on it…whatever, but make sure you both are good with it.

We’re a week away…wow.

I love you,

Dad

9 Days – Extraordinary Days, Extraordinary times…

dadtojared200days — Thu, 12 Nov 2009 05:04:56 +0000

Wednesday, November 11, 2009, 11:44 PM EST – 9 Days To Go

Dear Jared,

You’ve heard me say this before (at least I think you have), that most days are ordinary, but some days are extraordinary. They’re the days you remember the rest of your life…vivid memories of those days stay with you forever. Most of the time, they’re no-brainers, right? The day you accepted Christ, your first prom, first day of college, the day you proposed, the day you marry, the day(s) your children are born, etc.

I think about the “times” you’re going through right now…how monumental 2009 has been for you. Think about it…you proposed to Natalie, you graduated from college, you got your first job, you’re now a ‘boss’, you’ve planned a wedding (well, Natalie has planned a wedding, but surely you helped somewhere…ha), you moved into a new apartment (twice), you’ve traveled a lot – weddings, showers, Phoenix, Greer, you’ve been backstage at Summer Fest and now, the CMAs, you’re getting ready for your bachelor party on Saturday, you’re marrying the woman of your dreams next Friday, you’re off to Maui for your honeymoon and when you get back, the holidays. Whew!!! I’m tired just typing that….and I’m sure I left out a ton of stuff.

God has shown you great favor…He is blessing you abundantly! These are not only extraordinary days for you, but a window of extraordinary times. You will look back on 2009 as one of “those years” in your life…and it’s all good!

I just want to remind you to stop and offer up a prayer of thanks to God. He is certainly taking care of you, and He has promised to do so for as long as you seek Him. I know I thank Him everyday for the blessings He is bestowing upon you and your sisters and the grandchildren. So, let me close with this prayer from my heart…

Father, I just wanted to offer up my thanks for how you are taking care of Jared and Natalie. Thank you, Lord, for living in their hearts, for providing the Holy Spirit to lead them down a path that will seek your face for as long as they shall live. Thank you that you have brought them together and that You had each of them picked out for each other even before You created the universe. It’s humbling to know you care so much. So, I will close with this - may Jared and Natalie do great and wondeful things for Your Kingdom, and may you use them to help their fellow man; and may Your light shine so brightly in their lives that everyone around them will want what they have, and that’s a loving and forgiving relationship with your Son, Jesus. I ask this in the loving name of Christ. Amen.

I love you, Jared. We are down the homestretch now, my son.

Dad

11 Days “Keep The Focus on Simplicity”

dadtojared200days — Tue, 10 Nov 2009 02:46:28 +0000

Monday Evening, November 9, 2009 9:39 PM EST, 11 Days To Go!

Dear Jared,

My prayer, son, is that you always keep your eye on the prize (Natalie and your family) and not on the “things” the world would have you believe are important. I ran across this list of “irreducible minimums” (practices of simplicity), that if practiced daily, weekly, monthly and yearly will go a long way to keep you grounded. I’m adopting many of these for 2010. Let’s do them together with our families.

This is what keeps me centered in Christ – in calendar, in cash & at the core. These do not represent an average or the most, but rather a pattern of the least investment (even when under pressure).

They provide the RULE of life so to speak. Then, when there is an exception to the good; all the better. When there is a rare inability to even serve the I.M. – it is truly an exception to the rule – you have to have a proven rule in order to have an exception. Foundationally the I.M.‟s serve as the minimum in order for me to live healthy in my faith, my marriage, my family, my career, my budget and my soul center.

The “Idea” of Irreducible Minimums can be a life changing model as a platform for doing life. The actual summary of my I.M.‟s listed below cannot be a model in its entirety for anyone else. They are simply an illustration of one man‟s journey. Two should apply to everyone as they are drawn directly from scripture: “Sabbath rest – working 6 days and off one” and “honoring God with first fruits/tithe”. In these matters – it is universal truth as minimums.

Daily I.M.’s –

 Wake up & Talk with (Dad) my Heavenly Father before I rise!

 Read the Word/Prayer – Minimum of 15-20 minutes

 Always kiss my wife (say I love you) before I leave!

 Emotionally connect with my kids (even if only 10-15 minutes)

 Emotionally connect with my wife (a walk, run, sit, doing dishes, post dinner, before bed – it just has to happen. If I travel – then phone call to accomplish the same. A lesson from a mentor: “She‟ first to hear the good story! Keep her your best friend daily.”)

 Never disrespect my wife before the kids or friends or another. DO NOT – EVER -ENGAGE IN “WIFE BASHING”….Don’t even go there….walk away when you witness it happening.

 Reflect every day (15 min.); never let a day end without “Be STILL & Be GRATEFUL.

Calendar, Cash, Core

Weekly I.M.’s

 Worship Every 7 days with other believers (go to church)

 Community Connection every week – ex: Small Group

 Serve the “Kingdom Mission” practically once every week

 Work! 50 min and 60 max hours a week; 6 days a week and shut it down!

 Day off – (you gotta rest)

 Word/Prayer one 90 min. session every week (major on reveal my sin to me‟– I want to be holy in heart as you are holy; & „arfare prayer‟ & pray over my family by name. Journal 3 times a week). LOVE THIS!!!!

 Work out 30 minutes 4-5 days per week

 Connect with Creation once a week (a walk; a visit; bike ride – reflect on creation and 50% of the time I repeat Matt. 6 “do not worry”– been doing that for years!)

 First Fruits: return a minimum of 10% (tithe) of gross to the Lord through local church

 Spend based on budgeted and adjust with the margin weekly.

 Date my wife weekly – non-negotiable, no kids – just us!

 Family night weekly – just family!

 Dinners as a Family at least 3 nights per week (all together – emotionally connecting)

 Parenting: When in elementary school: one play date & put to bed 4 nights of the 7 When MS: one breakfast/bible a week and a hobby of their choice When HS: one block of Daddy time (“Date your kids”)

 One Personal Fun thing – even if it‟ 1-2 hours!

 Connect with a Friend(s)/socially

– Calendar, Cash & Core:

Monthly I.M.’s

 ½ day to Get Human – “An unexamined life is not worth living” – Socrates/ i.e. as in “Motorcycle or into Nature” connect w/ Jesus once Monthly!

 Give offerings

 GiveLife: Witness to my faith in Jesus …an invest/invite agenda

 Tap into someone else for learning (book, Leader, mentor, teacher)

 Pour into someone else (Mentor)

– Calendar, Cash & Core

Yearly I.M.’s

 Annual Audit of our family finances/Re-do Family Budget – Sign Off as a couple!

 Family Vacation (saved for it all year- i.e. 7-10 days based on what we can afford)

 Trip with good friends (5-6 days)

 Getaway with my wife (no kids)

 Personal Spiritual Retreat – (refine one Major Personal Theme for my development for the year)

 One Major Leadership/Faith enrichment

Thought: This is hard to absorb in ONE session. It would be hard (if not impossible) to just make a list and assume you could live it. But this was not developed in a year. It was trained over time and adjusted with God‟ counsel through experience and the changes from family to ministry.

Jared, some pretty good stuff here…so important to make the first things first and second things never!

I love you…

Dad

13 Days – Make Someone Smile Everyday

dadtojared200days — Sun, 08 Nov 2009 03:53:18 +0000

Saturday Evening, November 7, 2009, 10:47 PM EST, 13 Days To Go…

Dear Jared,

Your sister’s birthday…hard to believe we have three adult children…all (still) in their 20′s. What is going to be really weird is next year when we have a daughter in her 30′s. Seems like we were just in our 30′s. Ha.

Hey, do you remember when you kids were younger and I would always say, “make somebody smile today”? I’m not really sure where that came from, but I’m so glad God laid that on my heart to share with you kids. I think it’s something you all remember. And, hopefully, you put it into practice.

What is that important? To make someone smile? We never know what people are going through in the daily lives. They might look happy on the outside, but on the inside they might be dealing with turmoil. You name it, they could be experiencing it. So, I think it’s always important to reach out and be the light of God to people…smile at them, smile when you talk and say something that will make them smile. It makes a difference for that person.

So, think about it…who are you going to encounter tomorrow that needs a little pick-me-up? Follow God’s prompting and be His ambassador to someone who needs a good laugh, or maybe just a smile.

Little things matter….in marriage and in life. Don’t forget that!

I love you,

Dad

15 Days – “The Secret Is The Law of Attraction”

dadtojared200days — Thu, 05 Nov 2009 19:15:10 +0000

Thursday Afternoon, November 5, 2009,, 1:53 PM EST, 15 Days To Go!

Dear Jared,

You know, I really do believe in mind over matter. I think about Pistol Pete Maravich. He was, perhaps, the greatest college basketball player of all time…at least he was the most prolific scorer. And his Beatle-like mop top hair made him very popular in the late 60′s / early 70′s. He played for LSU and some of the games against high-scoring Dan Issel at Kentucky were epic. Both scored in the 50′s and 60′s when they played each other. (No 3-pointer, by the way).

One thing that Pete always said during his adult life was that he’d never make to 40 years old. He said that over and over and over. Well….true to form….on his 40th birthday, while playing basketball with James Dodson (Focus on Family), Pistol Pete collapsed and died. Talk about mind over matter….wow.

So, think good thoughts for you and Natalie and your family. Stay positive. Heck, I’ve started saying I’m going to live till I’m a 100. And, unless an accident takes me out, I fully expect to be here in 2060.

What are the positive images you’re visualizing? Focus on those. Check this out…

The Secret is the Law of Attraction

Whatever is going on in your mind is what you are attracting

We are like magnets – like attract like.

You become AND attract what you think.

People think about what they don’t want and attract more of the same.

EVERYTHING in your life you have attracted .. accept that fact .. it’s true.

Whatever it is you are feeling is a perfect reflection of what is in the process of becoming.

Happy feelings will attract more happy circumstances.

What you focus on with your thought and feeling is what you attract into your experience.

You can change your emotion immediately .. by thinking of something joyful, or singing a song, or remembering a happy experience.

Start by using this sentence for all of your wants: “I’m so happy and grateful now that…. “

The universe likes SPEED. Don’t delay, don’t second-guess, don’t doubt…

HOW LONG??? No rules on time .. the more aligned you are with positive feelings the quicker things happen.

What we think about and THANK about is what we bring about.

An affirmative thought is 100 times more powerful than a negative one.

Create a Vision Board .. pictures of what you want to attract .. every day look at it and get into the feeling state of already having acquired these wants.

Decide what you want .. believe you can have it, believe you deserve it, believe it’s possible for you.

Relationships: Treat yourself the way you want to be treated by others .. love yourself and you will be loved.

When you realize your potential to feel good, you will ask no one to be different in order for you to feel good.

Health: thank the universe for your own healing. Laugh, stress free happiness will keep you healthy.

Source: Discover Te Secret, 9/12/09

Some good stuff there – anything jump out at you? Think about it.

I love you,

Dad